Romance fraud victims have always been treated with contempt, belittled and held in the opinion of most (including those that should know better) as naive and gullible. The comments stamped out on a keyboard by the general public, towards those brave enough to share their experiences, inevitably have the tone of a bully, lashing out their vitriol towards those who found themselves broken in ways they never knew they could be.
So what it it about this particular fraud that makes those who may not have experienced it, so utterly vile towards those that have? Let’s break it down.
Victims of this fraud have many qualities, being stupid, naive or gullible are not those. There tends to be common trends of qualities yes; kind, empathetic, trustworthy, respectful, generous with heart and feelings and wanting to help others. What incredible qualities these are in a human today and certainly the sort of people you want to have around in your life, no?
So why are these exact qualities used as a way to victim blame and bully those who were targeted and exploited in these frauds, for holding these exact qualities as a natural part of who they are?
Don’t you think the victims do enough victim blaming of themselves?
In addition, there is often a trend of vulnerabilities which can be from past experiences, lack of self worth, culture, education, upbringing and even thinking this could never happen to them. Situational vulnerabilities can also play their part, such as being in a new place or country with no support network around you.
Now let’s turn to the victim blamers.
We have little to no respect for anyone who is willing to judge another without educating themselves about the issue at hand first, but then reading things on social media or in the news for example and just believing that at face value is a poor human trait.
Lack of education is definitely one of the major factors in victim blaming because people really don’t understand the complexities of these frauds. We know this, because having talked to many, many people who started with this attitude, when we start breaking down the fraud, the process, the manipulations, the technology, directing them to the academic research on the language used as well as the backgrounds and past experiences of some of the victims we have been privileged to help, there is silence. Silence is all we need to know, that they really didn’t understand about romance fraud at all. No, it isn’t some stupid sucker who handed over money to someone they didn’t know. Society can learn, just like the victims do.
Media and those who share stories or advice, in the main, use language which is inherently victim blaming. Headlines will read,
‘Women gave her life savings to someone she never met when she fell for whirlwind romance.’
Instead, the headline should read,
‘Criminals targeted and exploited victim in a coercive, emotional fraud.’
We should be discussing these frauds with language which puts the blame solely with the criminals where it belongs. People don’t fall for crime, they are the victim.
Is it any wonder then, that these frauds are escalating at a rate faster than any other? Reporting is critically low at between 5-14%. The issue here is not just to do with previous lack of action from law enforcement, who battle lack of resources and a budget of just 1% prioritised to a 40% UK crime statistic but as much to do, with ignorant people who display aggressive societally created behaviour towards these victims. This behaviour silences and isolates victims and further empowers the criminals.
How do we change this?
We educate as many as we can (victims and society) so that the stigma disappears, awareness and reporting increases and the criminals finally start to take the hit.
People who are victims of these frauds, didn’t know these frauds exist. Every human being is made up of a set of unique DNA and experiences, out of their control. It’s these factors that will ultimately shape whether the fraud works on them or not and to what level.
And to those of you that want to keep blaming victims, remember that blaming others is just to make you feel better about yourself. Or is your disdain at those who were manipulated in this type of fraud actually just to convince yourself that you’re not going to be next?
Yahoo boys or Gee boys have their hands in with many scams. New ways of making quick money are being tested all the time and once something is found as successful, it will be shared amongst scammers in their world and used by everyone-they are known as ‘updates’.
Here are some of the current, popular scams to look out for:
Sugar Daddy/Mummy(Mommy)/Baby Scams
Social media profiles will be set up for Sugar Scams.
Scammers will use anyone’s pictures for these, they don’t need lots for the long game. They will be surfing for any profile picture on any profile to fit the bill. Some groups do love the beautiful Alexandra Rodriguez who is often used as ‘Mommy Heather’.
These scams work by drawing in people who are financially strapped with the premise of being ‘spoilt’ as a sugar baby. I’ve seen these pages target students too. How do the scammers make money? They tell you there is an attorney fee to set up the agreement. Not only that, they will collect your details of Cash App, PayPal or other ‘to pay the money to’ where they will attempt hacking for other scams. ‘Formats’ (in Part 1) are available to the scammers for these scams.
Grant Scams
Grant scams are ongoing and take advantage of any situation going on in that country, or world at the time. The current pandemic has been a blessing for the scammers in many ways. Bottom line here, no organisation handing out money in grants is going to randomly contact you over social media or ask people to contact others for them.
Always do your own research, do not click the link, message the email or text the number they give you. This holds for any text, email or phone call you receive. These details are pre-planned fake websites or call centres (they will reroute home country numbers which are readily available thanks to new services). You will simply be following their scam process. Always put your own search in and get a number/email independently.
They are collecting your information for identity theft (Social Security Numbers, National Insurance Numbers, bank details, phone numbers) and in the process getting a fee to set up the grant payments.
Google Voice Scams
Scammers need phone numbers to execute their scams. They need numbers in the countries they want to scam in (or open bank accounts or other in), not phone numbers from Africa. Historically, they will ask victims to send Sim Cards and phones as part of the Romance scam. Pickers will be in place to take shipments before sending them out to Africa, unless of course the story from the scammer has put them there. How else can they get them?
Fortunately for scammers, there are now multiple ways. Electronic numbers can be got online through many apps but only local to your country-step in pickers and other victims, but also through Google Voice. Registered phone numbers are far more valuable to scammers as they will be accepted for opening bank accounts and other benefit system frauds.
One way scammers use Google Voice is to scan the likes of private sellers sites such as Craig’s List and Gumtree. They look for items for sale with a listed phone number, the scammer will text asking if the item is still available. On getting a response, the scammer will say they would like to check ‘you’ are not a scammer and say they have put your number through a checking app to check it’s a legitimate number with no bad debt etc listed against it. An OTP (one time password) will be sent and victim asked to please forward the code or screenshot, to them to verify the information.
What you are actually sending is a password to hand over your number to the scammer on Google Voice. Once in possession of that number, the scammer can use it to open online bank accounts and also access lots of other numbers.
This process is used in other scams too. Don’t ever send an OTP to a stranger (or any one you have never met or know in person).
Cash App Scams
Cash App along with Zelle, PayPal, Venmo and others offer immediate transfer of funds to another party.
Private seller scams
Using private sellers lists again, scammers will contact in response to an item they claim to wish to purchase. Once agreement is made, funds need to be exchanged. If cash app hasn’t been used before by the client, they have an upper hand advantage from the start.
Cash app only allows transfers in and out of the account for a limit of sending $250 per 7 days and receiving $1000 per 30 days. Increasing these limits only happens through verification of your identity.
Scammers will claim the account limit needs to be increased (expanded) for the transaction to take place due to limits. They claim this can be done through the app by ‘building’ the limit between buyer and seller. Emails are sent from a fake customer service website to confirm the instructions along with notification messages and alerts.
Emails and notifications are passed backwards and forwards to build trust with the victim.
Note the .ng domain address on the website/email. This is Nigeria.
Here the victim instructed the postmaster not to release the parcel until she gave conformation of the payment being credited to her account. The address the package was to be sent to was in New York. This will have been a picker, hired by the scammers knowingly or unknowingly (employment scams, romance scams, paid mules) to collect the package before passing it on to Nigeria. Unfortunately the post master sent the package before confirmation.
The scam continued:
The victim did not send any money or gift cards but a few days later the scammer taunted her by showing the Fedex delivery tracker and a video of the Nigerian holding her ring. They tried again to get more money saying the ring could be returned if she paid for shipping.
She showed the scammer all the evidence I had found of the fake account and the stolen identity of the elderly lady used in the scam. It’s with the police but unfortunately she is very unlikely to see any of her money or possessions again.
Other Cash App scams
Cash Flip and Prize Giveaways are other common Cash App scams.
The businesses do offer this service to customers for promotional purposes on occasion and the scammers are quick to jump on these situations to extort money. More on these two Cash App scams can be found here
Please only ever contact these apps for support through the in app contact system. Too many scammers have very well thought out fake websites and call centres to look like the real thing.
Puppy/Kitten deposit scams
Many of these scams follow a similar pattern, the subject of the scam will simply change so that they can maximise the opportunities to exploit. Puppies and Kittens create a good opportunity for money making in scams, especially when advertising as a quality breed.
I should say here that scams using Puppies and Kittens for scams are abundant in all countries, carried out by heartless criminals who are out to make fast money without thought to the welfare of the animals. You should always seek advise from a vet for a registered breeder or preferably get a pet from a rescue as there are plenty needing homes.
Here, I am concerned with the type of scam conducted over the internet, where the animals are simply virtual and do not in reality even exist.
Fake websites and social media profiles are used to set up these scams.
One is shown here.
Things might not look wrong on first look, bar a gramma mistake on paperwork’s’.
However, the fact this profile messaged first and just a simple search on the pictures, shows this for what it is.
A key phrase here raises red flags. ‘I’m a good and sincere person.’ are words used in romance scams to build trust.Always screen shot a few images to run through a reverse search. The results can save you money and heart break.The reverse image search showed that the image has been taken from the internet. These puppies are not for sale.
As the scam continues, the scammer may even send a video (taken from the internet), then a deposit will be asked for. Using Cash App or other, details will be passed and funds transferred to secure the puppy or kitten. The money is lost and the scammer disappears.
Landlord/Rental deposit scams
Using the same technique above, the scammers will watch legitimate websites for properties going up for rent.
They create private listings with the pictures but with the monthly rental price at a significantly reduced rate. They will claim that they previously had the property with an agent but the fees were too high so now they are renting privately. The agent is just being slack removing the listing.
Documents can be replicated to share and build trust before asking for the deposit to be paid. The old saying goes here, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
The deposit and likely first month payment will be asked for in advance as is common with property rental. Scams like this have been found targeting students in particular who are looking for a good deal on limited money. This money will be lost.
Always use a verified agent or meet the person face to face with full identity when venturing into these transactions.
Employment scams
Scammers will get onto college websites or even websites for single mums and similar. Email extractor tools are used to extract the emails registered on that website. The scammers will then bomb the emails with adverts for part time virtual work and work from home opportunities.
The wage is paid by fraudulent bank transfer or cheque in excess of the agreed wage. The picker will announce the mistake and ask for the extra paid money to be returned via gift card or other.
By the time the ’employee’ realises from the bank that the original transaction was in fact a scam transaction, the picker and the scammer are gone.
This method of extracting money is used across the scamming world including call centre scams, but this type- often technical support scam will gain access to the victims computer through screen share software to make them think the bank transaction of a refund has actually gone through at a higher rate and needs to be returned.
Hacking accounts
Scammers do business, and part of that business is hacking accounts, all types of accounts.
Older Facebook accounts are really popular with scammers because of many reasons. One, they look more authentic than a freshly made account with the joining date being historic on the profile. Two, ready made friends list who may or may not be close to the real owner. Three, these older accounts are mainly created in a country not on the ‘watchlist’ and are much harder to get removed through reporting. These accounts are offered for sale in the groups.
How do they get these?
As said previously, Romance Scams are not always about instant money. Sometimes the scammer is focused on collecting facebook accounts or other information for other scams. Sometimes they will come at a victim from more than one perspective, as different identities, to collect more and different information. When money isn’t asked for the victims tend to trust more but the scammers are just as dangerous. They will be building trust and ‘phishing’ for your details for identity theft and other things to earn them money.
Hackers may create the same narrative with a victim and even send them their own bank details with login (of a fake account) to show their trust and love for a victim (or friend). They might use this as a way to get the victim to send a One Time Password (OTP) alert maybe of a ‘login from another device’ from information such as a phone number or email used to access and sign in to a facebook account or email account. The victim will be told it’s to verify their number or email with the bank. The victim sends it to the scammer and the scammer has the password to verify themselves on the social media account or email etc..
The scammer can then change passwords from inside the account settings and lock the victim out.
If an email has been hacked, the scammer will now phish for other information useful in scams. Some of these scams will be for bigger fraud such as online benefit applications where the scammer has collected the required information for submitting a claim in that persons name with their personal details. You can read more here about this kind of fraud.
Other hacked accounts include Sporty Bet accounts where pre loaded cards are available for using.
There are many more scams that are constantly evolving from ones like these. Please be very aware of any one that contacts you or deals that seem too good to be true. Never click links or give a One Time Password or verification code to anyone you don’t know personally. Never use given phone numbers or web-links to confirm what you are being told, always do a search yourself for these numbers, emails or contact details or access the contact us section within an app.
When a victim realises what is going on, maybe a friend has broken through the conditioning instilled by the scammer or they have come across other profiles with the same pictures or completed a reverse image search, they will likely confront the scammer.
The scammer will not take this laying down and just go away.
Guilt will be heaped on the victim to start with. ‘How you can you not trust me after everything we’ve been through?’ are words all victims will hear. ‘The scammers have been stealing my pictures for years, I just don’t know how to deal with it anymore, now they’ve taken you too.’
When this doesn’t have effect, they can turn nasty.
Sextortion. If intimate images have been extorted (male or female), the blackmail will likely ensue. Blocking their number won’t do anything. scammers have untold amounts of numbers for any country at their disposal from other victims and other scams (more later) and the victim will likely be bombarded. This does depend on the experience of the scammer and the size of the group they are working in.
New identities will randomly start connecting and contacting, threats of posting your pictures online, sending them to family and friends unless money is sent. Never think sending them money will stop them-it will bait them to blackmail you more. The Australian authorities at Scamnet have produced an excellent advice document for incidents where this happens. I send it to victims I talk to all the time. You can read it here.
Facebook also offer a service for non-consensual sharing of images that have or have threatened to be shared on their platform. You can find their help here.
There are several follow up scams that the scammers will try. Don’t become a repeat victim. These scams are the most popular but by no means the only ones they will try and things evolve constantly.
Scam compensation services. A contact will offer compensation to recover lost money and, or catch the scammer to get justice for their wrongdoing. This maybe headed up by ‘law enforcement’ organisations or ‘private investigation’ style companies. These are also set up as pages on social media. Do not be fooled. These do not exist.
Fallen in love. The scammer will sometimes state that they fell in love with you through the scam. They will say it’s never happened but the connection with you was too strong. They will send their real pictures, finally make that video call, say they wish they could turn back time and start a fresh now that he’s been honest. They have introduced victims to family. Their only aim is to get a visa out of there and more money.
Medical emergency. Some victims have had calls with a crying scared ‘family member’ claiming the scammer has tried to commit suicide due to the guilt felt from the scamming. Can you help with hospital costs. Having thought you were in a real relationship with this person and the fact they target kind and empathetic people in the first place, the temptation to believe this can be strong. Don’t.
Wife Beater. Some victims have reported that a woman calls saying the scammer is their husband and that she is being beaten, especially after his failure to continue the scam with you. She will say she wants to escape and asks for help to do so.
Facing jail. Some victims have reported that the scammer or a friend calls to say they are facing jail. They know they have done wrong but now the family they provide for face poverty because they will not be there. Can you help to pay the police to let them off.
Money Mule blackmail threat. Scammers have been known to load the victims bank account with funds after they are caught. they will then threaten to inform the authorities you are a mule, if the money isn’t sent back via Bitcoin or gift cards. Victims panic and sometimes do as the scammers ask.
The suckers list.
Scammers will put your details on a list of people who have been willing to chat, taken money to look after (unknowing money mule) or part with money. You will find the fake accounts keep finding you.
Here are some tips to break the cycle.
Change your phone number and email
Come off of social media for a few weeks and on return, change your profile pictures to new unknown ones. A name change, (variations etc) where possible and user name change where applicable.
Make sure your profiles are completely set to private including past profile pictures and photo albums.
Ensure that you report your fraud to the relevant authority for your country. Although rare, there are occasions where enough evidence is reported for investigations to take place and arrests are made. For you to be inline for any share of money recovered, your name needs to be on that list of victims. Local police are really not interested and too many victims report being laughed at by these officers. It is not ok and shows their ignorance at the sophistication and emotional manipulation that can come with these scams.
Here is a list of web-links to report your fraud in your country. If your country is not here, let me know and I will try and find or for you.
Things can feel really really dark and hopeless after an experience with a scammer. Facing reality is sometimes too much and many victims can feel suicidal. You are not alone. There is always someone to talk to. It’s important to know that you can come and chat and not be judged or feel ashamed about what has happened to you. The hardest step is acceptance and letting go. The next phase is the fight back. We don’t let them win.
In Part 4, where your information can be used and other scams of the Yahoo Boys.
Can the person you’re talking to tick these boxes?
Photos look real and do not show up on a reverse image search. If the photos look too good to be true, they probably are!
Happy to make a voice call. A phone call identifies that they are from the country they say they are (and with an accent that matches).
Happy to video call and/or meet up in person. Remember if it’s the real person behind the pictures they have nothing to hide.
Check identity through an online search. Most people have an online footprint. Be an investigator.
Does their story sound ‘normal’ ? If their story sounds ‘off’ or has any red flags such as working abroad/military/has problems occurring which they need help for/asks for money- you need to block.
The connection should move along at a normal pace. Does the ‘relationship’ seem to move very fast? Do they tell you they have feelings very quickly? They feel they’ve found a soul mate? It’s another scammer tactic using ‘love bombing’. If every thing else checks out and they still use this final technique then it’s likely a narcissist (steer clear of both!).
Claire shares her story of adult grooming and abuse.
The Theatre of the Mind
I tried to download a dating app yesterday. It was on my phone for 30 seconds before I deleted it.
Lovebombed
Last Autumn, I met a man online who made me love him like no other. He was intellectual, academic, caring, funny, attentive and romantic. Our early conversations were so rapid fire that he was taking the words out of my mouth before they came out. We spoke for hours daily by phone.It was breath taking. He took it slowly, gently, knew me better than I knew myself. Now I know why. He’d researched.
Indeed, the ‘getting to know you’ period lasted so long that I eventually ‘friend zoned’ him.
That spurred him into action:before I knew it I was meeting him at Platform 8, Waterloo Station. His face lit up when he saw me. This slightly cuddly, endearingly ordinary man captured my heart. I almost ‘loved’ him before I met him. He was my mirror, but the bit I liked, for the first time ever.
You hear about women who give everything up for someone they’ve never met. I’d never understood, regarding them as a bit silly, a bit needy. Yet here I was, one step short of it. Mr W, ex Royal Navy, academic, navigation expert, ex-pat living in Rotterdam, had turned me to jelly. We snogged goodbye like teenagers. He went off to a Naval ball at the Honourable Company of Master Mariners, and I headed home with a head full of him.
Our next date was due to be in Paris, but the weekend came and went – he had to work. He wanted to put me up in the New York Hotel in Rotterdam, close to where he lived so that we had an unpressured date. That too never materialised. To be honest, I’d assumed we’d do every other weekend there or here in the UK. It was a million miles from the practical, close-by relationship that I’d sought, but I talked myself into the benefits. For a while he was my closest friend.
He was hating his job. I was wanting him here. Our communication was so intense that I eventually told him to back off a little. He sounded hurt.
He became the centre of my life. I started leaving time free for him, just in case, taking his calls just before leaving for the gym and missing much needed classes.
Our next date was London. Unsure about taking our relationship up a gear, I booked an apartment rather than a hotel so that we had the option of separate beds. I knew I’d made a friend for life, but needn’t have worried. We laughed into bed and the world vanished. For a perfect couple of days we wrapped ourselves together, emotionally, mentally and physically engrossed in our escape from reality.
Coercion and Control
It was the first time I saw him lie, really coldly, convincingly, to his boss that he was getting a supervision for his PhD, when in fact he was tucked up with me and had given up his PhD. He won’t be the first person to bunk off work, but it struck me at the time how easily the lies tripped off his tongue.
Reality for us was harder outside the bunker. He hated his job in Rotterdam. He was getting less attentive, but that honeymoon period intensity couldn’t be expected to last. At least, that’s what I told myself as he apparently spent Christmas with his mother on a cruise in the Balkans, during which time he couldn’t be in touch. His relationship with his mother was, he claimed, complex. He was secretive about her. Apparently, a spurned ex had once turned up on her doorstep.
I gave up a business I’d been working on, a passion that had burned for years. I finally had the money to invest, but he persuaded me that it was too big a risk and we’d never get any time together.
In January, he bought me a flight to Rotterdam, and we were to have our first weekend date. All our other ‘trysts’ had been week days.I was suspicious, about how he was making me feel, shabby, needy. I explained my feelings to him and he blamed my good friend for poisoning my mind.
Eventually he threw in the job. A leadership expert, he told me he thought the management at Simwave was shoddy. However, he was going for Chartered status at the Honourable Company of Master Mariners as a boost.
I was angrily told that I couldn’t go to the ceremony with him, that it was a silly little paper signing, and I was dispatched to Rotterdam to wait for him there.
We’d both initially had tickets for later flights, but his job loss meant he brought them forward to give us more time together. I was now on the earlier flight, he was on a later one. I knew deep inside, despite having sent me a message from a gin bar the week before that he was warming up for my visit, that he wasn’t coming. But I had a ticket and accommodation at his expense. I’d never spent much time in Rotterdam, so went anyway. Sure enough, he didn’t turn up until the following morning. He’d “missed his flight” and apparently stayed in a very expensive hotel at the airport.
His communication started faltering.
Eventually I called time, sure he was living with someone, especially as he had now moved back to the UK, jobless, but only ever managed passing meets. On Valentine’s Day, he came over from his mother’s in Essex with a bunch of garage flowers, but had to get to Portsmouth to catch a ship for ‘Navy Reserve’ duty that evening. The timings didn’t ring true.
Punishment
Eventually he talked me round.
It was easy. I’d been out with an ex in the gap, and it just wasn’t the same.
Mr W understood me. I accepted I was nasty and should have accepted that he had a thing about his mother. We had some bridges to build, and I was going to have to demure. Despite being unhappy at his mums, we couldn’t live together because he’d apparently married his second wife within six months. But, promisingly, he wanted me to hold off buying my little Spanish bolthole. He was going to buy it with me. We would have our little place away from the World.
Despite being conscious of some cruel things he did, I was feeling increasingly bad about myself, and spent days helping to research jobs for him, preparing presentations, to make amends. Yet still deep inside feeling a niggle, I hired a private detective to find out what was really going on.
Eventually, two weeks of being ‘ghosted’ by him, worrying about the cancer he purported to being tested for, and having completely omitted to acknowledge my birthday despite having left it clear for a promised weekend in Paris, seven months of relationship ended with a little email about how difficult his life was and he had no more time for me. I replied that I was sorry, that whatever our relationship had diminished to, I was grateful for the good bits.
I was relieved.
The truth
It was too late to call off the investigators, they’d started work: he was living with a woman near Fareham, in a house he’d supposedly rented out. I sent him a choice text and moved on. To stop anyone else getting duped by him, I posted some of our pictures up on Facebook, a rare ‘public’ post, pointing out his marital situation and where he was living – not in the mess on a naval base or with mother.
The man had no more loved me than a politician kissing a baby. Awful truths started to crawl daily out of the woodwork. Alan Ayckbourn would be hard pushed to make up some of it, especially the Master Mariners event, where at least three women had wanted to attend. But the sadder stories were what he’d done to his family. I was just one in a string of women that he’d groomed into relationships.
I had consented to a physical relationship only after extracting an explicit promise of him being unmarried and not dating anyone else. That he had a clean bill of sexual health. He had lied to obtain that consent, was married, had multiple other partners simultaneously, andhad lied about his sexual status, putting me at risk.
My reward for loving Mr W was planned suicide (fortunately not acted on), a police harassment notice, and now a civil law suit because his wife claims to have suffered enough to need three months off work. He apparently bears no blame for this. It’s my fault for naming him.
I am no longer the person I was. He’s eaten at my self esteem. I doubt I’ll ever date again. How can I? The only person I’ve loved in over 30 years was never real, just a mind game.
Looking back through our conversations for the police and for my solicitors, he laced the clues,lured me in to hurt me. He won the mind game.
Grooming is very different from an affair. Mr W only ever wanted me to break my own moral codes, to use his “theatre of the mind” to push my boundaries. I am shamed that he succeeded, in more ways than I’ll admit here.
But I’ll use that shame and disgust to make sure that people like him – men and women alike, are no longer allowed to hurt others legally. My explicit consent matters as much as money. More.
Too many victims end up further victimised when they speak out. He, meanwhile, and others like him, continue to re-offend with impunity.
Strengthening the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA) Code of Conduct
19/12/17 by Anna Rowe
Since my Catfishing experience I have been nothing but stunned at the reluctance from those in a position of authority and power to step up to the mark and deal with the individual that abused and exploited us (I am 1 of 11 so far). This relatively unknown behaviour (termed as Catfishing in America) has grown exponentially as technology has made this form of abuse and exploitation as easy as walking into a very over stocked sweet shop. There is that word again…abuse. Sexual abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, financial abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse. All of these behaviours are things that good, normal and honest people recognise as very wrong.
So when you discover, or experience, having been abused or exploited by a solicitor ‘the profession that is an integral part of our judicial system’ and still seemingly considered by the public as ‘pillars of the community’ you would expect for their regulators to take them to task to retain trust in the profession. Right?
Wrong.
My own and many other peoples’ experiences have shown, that when we alert the SRA to the misconduct of solicitors, and as their CEO Paul Philip claims “there are fundamentally important standards that the public, and I repeat, the public must demand of practicing solicitors, these standards include honesty, integrity and confidentiality” we are dismissed. Why?
The research began. The findings were quite frankly, horrifying. Here is a report of some of that research.
The current role of the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA) with regards to the standards of governing issues of misconduct and whistleblowing.
There is increasing concern that the current regulation governing solicitors is not fit for purpose and that public confidence in the profession is incredibly low. This is due to the overly high tolerance of misconduct towards clients and non-clients. The current code’s criteria is restricted to cover complaints from consumers/clients and third parties/non-clients who are involved with the solicitor only in a professional capacity. It does not cover complaints from third parties/non-clients outside of professional capacity which would cover standards/conduct in private life.
This is particularly worrying as there have been a number of complaints of sexual abuse and other misconduct which are being either ignored or dismissed by the SRA without any investigation. In stark contrast, the police, teachers and MPs have to comply with standards in public life as well as professional. There is no justification for providing a cloak of ‘secrecy’ to lawyers than for any other profession. Just like doctors, lawyers are held in positions of trust – public interest in transparency is arguably just as critical for lawyers, as it is, for other public servants, such as, police and MPs.
Background:
The SRA are an independent arm of the Law Society and a self-regulated body funded through law firms and individual solicitors. A levy is paid which contributes to a ‘compensation fund’ and the salaries of the regulators. Individuals also pay for their ‘practising certificate’ which is admission to the roll (and obligation to abide by the code and principles). The SRA’s perceived role is to regulate the conduct of solicitors through ‘Principles and Code of Conduct’ by way of ‘risks’. The CEO Paul Philip, claims vehemently that: ‘the public must demand high standards of the lawyers they regulate’, as public trust is paramount to the profession.
Issues have arisen as we ‘the public’ attempt to demand these standards. Initial concerns arose from several personal case studies with similar themes (abuse against women) and the dismissal of us, by the SRA, to regulate this misconduct as it occurred in private life or as non-clients. Research into this regulator then revealed a much wider problem as it appears that despite the smoke screen of a Code of Conduct which visualises expectations of the highest standards, the reality is the exact opposite.
Research Findings:
Despite the ‘Code of Conduct’ and ‘Principles’ showing that a solicitor must ‘act with integrity’ and ‘behave in a way that maintains public trust in you ‘and’ your profession’ the SRA have simply dismissed several very serious cases, that revolve around private life/non-client scenarios. There are likely thousands more, as a request to see their version of FOI has uncovered that out of 11294 reports in 2015/16 alone, opened only 5081 investigations. This resulted in only 377 sanctions by the SRA, of which 236 were merely a letter to remind them of the code requirements. A FOI request was made to ascertain which ‘risks’ formed the 377 sanctions and the nature of the 6213 reports that were not investigated at all. They say the information is not available, however a table in the Annual Review shows the top 10 issues of cases. Only 129 cases from 11294 reports were considered ‘serious enough’ for tribunal (Solicitors Disciplinary Tribunal), and only 75 solicitors were struck off. This again shows the abuse of power and knowledge of the law being used to ‘evade reprimand and consequence’ as most cases put forward are cut and dried where the lawyer cannot wriggle out of it with threat of legal action. Other findings on what the SRA consider minor to serious in the report are frightening. A brief look at the public cases from the SDT shows some astounding cases including a solicitor charged, and in prison for attempted murder (notwithstanding he had mental health issues) but was given indefinite suspension (meaning it could be repealed), not even struck off.
Tolerance levels are too high:
The risk assessment methodology shows that a financial fraud of £5000 or less is considered minor, with a serious financial fraud reaching over 100K (catastrophic £500k+). However, the maximum fine for a solicitor found with their hands in the till is £2000. The minor £5k to that one individual which is considered as ‘minor’ to the SRA could be someones life savings. ANY financial fraud is dishonest and should result in severe reprimand. This is not happening. A similar theme is set for other RISKS within the assessment, including the vulnerability of the individual/s affected. Abuse of a woman is not even classified outside of ‘professional capacity’ in the workplace. A recent article by the Law Society Gazette states that Sexual Harassment is rife in the profession but the tolerance or acceptance and expectation of this happening, or the consequence of for instance ‘reporting this to the SRA’ isn’t happening because of the backlash. Abuse of women is not being addressed internally or externally.
What is a Professional?
As highlighted in a recent the Women’s and Equalities committee meeting regarding ‘Sexism and Sexual Harassment’ (10:15am 6/11/17), Public Servants (and those in positions of public trust) should be setting standards of acceptable behaviour for society.
Professionals have ‘expectations of behaviour’ attached the the title. Keith Bartley, Chief Executive of the General Teaching Council, said:
“It is a well-established principle that individuals have a duty to uphold the reputation of their chosen profession, and this is backed by a substantial body of case law.”
Back in 2009 he stated:
“The GTC had heard only two cases of teachers’ misconduct outside school. In one, a teacher had encouraged unsafe sex on a website, and the other had appeared on a porn programme on TV. Both were reprimanded.”
Other Professions’ Codes of Conduct
The Codes of Conduct from other professions show the expected behaviour and responsibilities that come with holding this status. This includes being aware of your behaviour and conduct as a person in the community. The word propriety is used in the codes: ‘conformity to conventionally accepted standards of behaviour or morals’. With the inclusion of things like appropriate behaviour on Social Media, other professions are up to date with the modern day politics. Only a few months back the SRA announced that:
‘Specifically, we have warned that online comments posted in a personal capacity and which might be deemed offensive or inappropriate could be classed as misconduct if the poster can be identified as a solicitor.’
There are several other profession’s regulators that demand the same standards of their members in a professional and personal/private life capacity: Police, Doctors, Teachers, Surveyors and many more.
Honesty and Integrity are qualities a person ‘has’ not something they ‘do’ merely in their professional capacity.
A legal ‘doctors’ defence service’ website states that:
‘Members of the public expect medical doctors to be honest in both their public and private life. The public still holds doctors in high regard, with the majority of doctors being given due respect for their contributions to the welfare of society.’ The General Medical Council (GMC) – the regulator of doctors – will take action against those doctors who do not conduct themselves with the utmost probity, integrity, and honesty. Doctors who admit or are found guilty of dishonest conduct will almost certainly be found to have committed professional misconduct.
As members of a profession that are administrators of the law, solicitors should in essence be held more accountable for these expected qualities and behaviours yet the SRA as regulators do not seem able to recognise the detrimental effect that their lack of regulation and ‘standards of behaviour’ are having on society and public trust in the profession as a whole. Including the abuse of women.
Lawyers are held ‘in a position of trust’ by the wider public audience, not just consumers, and need to be so for confidence in them as a profession and administrators of justice. The legal profession cannot be seen to operate as an ‘elite club’ with no accountability and beyond public scrutiny. However, this is precisely the view that concern the public (my petition link is here) and the current SRA regime is eroding public confidence and integrity in the system.
The SRA are accountable to Parliament through the Law Society and, in order to ensure greater transparency and restore public confidence, it would be timely for Parliament to review and strengthen the SRA’s role in relation to broadening their functions, so that i) The SRA afford greater protection to the public by ensuring that complaints from third parties are taken seriously and investigated and ii) They revise the Code of Conduct to encompass standards in public life, similar to that of other professions.
Anyone that is interested in viewing the research findings can email me for further information.
With my campaign push for regulating this industry to help make things safer, you can read my research on regulation here, and the backing of organisations like YOTI (@getyoti), Get Safe Online, Women’s Aid, Change UK and Kent Law Clinic (and others), we can start to make a difference to others affected by this behaviour.
On Friday when you are 15 years and 364 days old, you are covered by grooming legislation as a child. On Saturday (according to some police) you have nothing to protect you against these abusers.
I’ve been reading in horror, about all of these sexual abuse cases. The news, press and Social Media are full of all these horrific experiences that women, men (and children) have been through. The sad truth tho, is that the National Crime Agency (NCA) have statistics that claim 85% of reported sexual abuse cases show women as the victims.
Quite rightly, any act of sexual grooming and abuse against a child is legislated against BUT far too much still needs to be done for the upholders of the law to actually act on the appropriate legislation and stop failing these child victims.
So what happens when you reach 16? What legislation is there to protect you when you have been groomed and targeted by an individual or group who wish to exploit you for intimate sexual pictures, or videos or for sex itself?
The majority of the sexual abuse cases we are hearing about have been committed by someone who is known to that/those individuals. Some of the time that person is in a position of power or a position of trust over that individual, an employer or carer maybe. The abuse may be actioned in the work environment or it may be in an ‘off duty situation’.
What happens if a woman goes on a date? She meets the guy online, they chat for a while, have lots in common and then decide to meet. They go out for a meal and the woman wakes up in a room she doesn’t know, having been given a date rape drug. She knows that something is wrong, things have happened and she goes to the police to report that she has been raped. We’ve all heard of ‘Liar’ the acclaimed ITV series and seen how clever and manipulative these men are. We’ve seen the mask they use to convince those around them that they are kind, humble, grounded pillars of the community. The woman is a liar isn’t she? How could anyone ever think this devoted father and hard working individual in a position held of high esteem would ever do something like that?
For the police, there is still a path of legislation. They track the man in the profile and (as with other cases if they decide they will get a win from the prosecution) he will be questioned and charged.
In February 2016 the NCA delivered a report which highlighted the emerging new threat of sexual offences, initiated through online dating. It can be found here.
The statistic shows the frightening increase in cases over a period of 5 years. 33 offences in 2009, 39 in 2010, 62 in 2011, 79 in 2012, 145 in 2013 and 184 in 2014. More frightening is the fact that when put in context of the amount of cases of sexual assault actually called in, its significance is increased dramatically when only 17% of instances are stated as being reported.
And ultimately, whether invited back immediately or after a period of getting to know each other, 72% of offences were committed at the victim’s or offender’s residence.
Online platforms have proven to provide abusers with easier opportunities than they would ever have had before. However, these sexual offences typically only happen the once per victim. The assault occurs and the offender is found out for what he is. If he gets away with not being reported-the ‘game’ will start again. The grooming, the targeting, the love bombing, the assault. He will do the same to someone else.
BUT… what if that man is clever? What if he creates an entire fake online identity so that he can’t be found out when his game needs to be concluded? What if he’s not interested in a violent struggle for sex or drugging women who may be unresponsive to his touch? But his need, his addiction, is to be with as many women as he can. His thrill is the different experiences each woman brings. His thrill is knowing that he has deceived those women into believing he wants a ‘real relationship’ with them. His deception gives his game longevity. It gives him control over the other person. ‘He’s a decent guy looking for something long term. He’s not into hook ups, doesn’t want to be one of those guys who uses women to just get laid’.
He carries out his deception. He grooms his targets, he builds the trust, he walks into these women’s lives, their homes. Sex becomes part of that ‘loving’ relationship. He can, under the guise of his deceit, manipulate that women to behave as he wants her to behave.
The relationship is great at first, he is everything to you. The intimate times are passionate and completely in line with the ‘relationship’ you believe you are in, along with any emotion spinning story he has told you to gain empathy and keep you hooked. But then, however many weeks or months later, something goes wrong. He isn’t acting the same anymore, things are becoming strained, he is pulling away and then, as quickly as it started he’s gone.
You then discover he doesn’t exist. You discover this man has been doing the same thing for a long time. He has been doing the same thing to several other women at the same time as you. He was constantly online grooming for his next targets, as this is all part of the thrill he so loves.
He was never in the ‘relationships’ he just wanted an easy way to get sex. No struggle, no drugs, but a ‘bank’ of women who gave him that ‘honeymoon period’ adoration and a familiar homely environment to use and abuse them until he had the next lot hooked and in place to renew his thrill seeking.
What about that man? That man is a Catfish.
His mens rea, is proven by the premeditated act of creating a fake identity to deceive and groom women without (he hopes) being discovered. He never divulges his real identity or his true intent to his targets.
His actus reus, his voluntary act that is in itself wrongful or leads to a wrongful resultis proved as he comes off line to pursue the ‘relationship/abuse’ he groomed women for. This was his intent and this was his action.
The women they groom mean nothing to them. They are merely a vessel for sexual gratification and thrill of power and control.
By the time it is too late, the abuser has gone. You can’t trace who he really is, this man who manipulated and deceived and used and abused you. The man who online, still has his fake social media, but now doesn’t reply to any of the emails, the Skype calls, or the texts or phone-calls and unless like me you get lucky, you won’t ever find who they really are for any sort of closure.
Thousands of women (and some men) are being abused in this way every year. I am one of 11 so far for this 1 man. We hadn’t even realised what he was. It was only when we talked and pieced puzzles pieces together, the enormity of his deceit became visible. But we did all this between us. Not the police.
Like other sexual abuse initiated online, the police are aware and more so, that only a fraction of the cases of this nature are being reported. This Catfish behaviour adds an extra layer of humiliation and distress to the already understood abuse, for the victim.
BUT the police won’t prosecute this clever and cowardly Catfish for his sexual abuse. They say no legislation exists.
So when, on your 16th birthday, in the eyes of the law you become an adult, these men who were called ‘child groomers’ yesterday when they exhibited this exact behaviour, can now do this with no consequence.
