When a victim realises what is going on, maybe a friend has broken through the conditioning instilled by the scammer or they have come across other profiles with the same pictures or completed a reverse image search, they will likely confront the scammer.
The scammer will not take this laying down and just go away.
Guilt will be heaped on the victim to start with. ‘How you can you not trust me after everything we’ve been through?’ are words all victims will hear. ‘The scammers have been stealing my pictures for years, I just don’t know how to deal with it anymore, now they’ve taken you too.’
When this doesn’t have effect, they can turn nasty.
- Sextortion. If intimate images have been extorted (male or female), the blackmail will likely ensue. Blocking their number won’t do anything. scammers have untold amounts of numbers for any country at their disposal from other victims and other scams (more later) and the victim will likely be bombarded. This does depend on the experience of the scammer and the size of the group they are working in.
New identities will randomly start connecting and contacting, threats of posting your pictures online, sending them to family and friends unless money is sent. Never think sending them money will stop them-it will bait them to blackmail you more. The Australian authorities at Scamnet have produced an excellent advice document for incidents where this happens. I send it to victims I talk to all the time. You can read it here.Â
Facebook also offer a service for non-consensual sharing of images that have or have threatened to be shared on their platform. You can find their help here.
There are several follow up scams that the scammers will try. Don’t become a repeat victim. These scams are the most popular but by no means the only ones they will try and things evolve constantly.
- Scam compensation services. A contact will offer compensation to recover lost money and, or catch the scammer to get justice for their wrongdoing. This maybe headed up by ‘law enforcement’ organisations or ‘private investigation’ style companies. These are also set up as pages on social media. Do not be fooled. These do not exist.
- Fallen in love. The scammer will sometimes state that they fell in love with you through the scam. They will say it’s never happened but the connection with you was too strong. They will send their real pictures, finally make that video call, say they wish they could turn back time and start a fresh now that he’s been honest. They have introduced victims to family. Their only aim is to get a visa out of there and more money.
- Medical emergency. Some victims have had calls with a crying scared ‘family member’ claiming the scammer has tried to commit suicide due to the guilt felt from the scamming. Can you help with hospital costs. Having thought you were in a real relationship with this person and the fact they target kind and empathetic people in the first place, the temptation to believe this can be strong. Don’t.
- Wife Beater. Some victims have reported that a woman calls saying the scammer is their husband and that she is being beaten, especially after his failure to continue the scam with you. She will say she wants to escape and asks for help to do so.
- Facing jail. Some victims have reported that the scammer or a friend calls to say they are facing jail. They know they have done wrong but now the family they provide for face poverty because they will not be there. Can you help to pay the police to let them off.
- Money Mule blackmail threat. Scammers have been known to load the victims bank account with funds after they are caught. they will then threaten to inform the authorities you are a mule, if the money isn’t sent back via Bitcoin or gift cards. Victims panic and sometimes do as the scammers ask.
The suckers list.
Scammers will put your details on a list of people who have been willing to chat, taken money to look after (unknowing money mule) or part with money. You will find the fake accounts keep finding you.
Here are some tips to break the cycle.
- Change your phone number and email
- Come off of social media for a few weeks and on return, change your profile pictures to new unknown ones. A name change, (variations etc) where possible and user name change where applicable.
- Make sure your profiles are completely set to private including past profile pictures and photo albums.
Ensure that you report your fraud to the relevant authority for your country. Although rare, there are occasions where enough evidence is reported for investigations to take place and arrests are made. For you to be inline for any share of money recovered, your name needs to be on that list of victims. Local police are really not interested and too many victims report being laughed at by these officers. It is not ok and shows their ignorance at the sophistication and emotional manipulation that can come with these scams.
Here is a list of web-links to report your fraud in your country. If your country is not here, let me know and I will try and find or for you.
Things can feel really really dark and hopeless after an experience with a scammer. Facing reality is sometimes too much and many victims can feel suicidal. You are not alone. There is always someone to talk to. It’s important to know that you can come and chat and not be judged or feel ashamed about what has happened to you. The hardest step is acceptance and letting go. The next phase is the fight back. We don’t let them win.
In Part 4, where your information can be used and other scams of the Yahoo Boys.
